They say that positive reinforcement is more effective at getting a desired result than punishment. Optimists are far more enjoyable to be around than pessimists who are miserable about everything. Removing “bad energy” and negativity from your life is all the rage as people try to adjust their philosophies to one of inner peace. Basically, what we’re saying is that there’s a reason positivity is trendy and legitimately effective, and it also comes out in the way you write. Let us give you a guide to how your language might be impacting your sex life, and how using positive words can help you meet women.
What Your Language Says About You
When you’re filling out a profile on a dating site, there’s a lot of different things you can say. Some people just throw up whatever comes to mind first, but we’re firm believers in putting some effort into how you represent yourself. If you’re looking for a quality hookup with an attractive woman, the good ones aren’t going to settle for some guy who can’t even spell words correctly in his introductory self-description. Good grammar and spelling will help draw in the best women, but it’s positivity that will really reel them in. We don’t mean you have to become a new age Reiki master who’s obsessed with “energy flow”, but it’s pretty remarkable at how long a little positivity can go.
Understanding Negative Words
Let’s say you’re trying to fill in the section of your profile that summarizes who and what you’re looking for. If you’re a man who’s into kinky things and looking for casual encounters, your first instinct might be to communicate this by naming what you’re not looking for. For example, to make clear what you’re after, you might say, “Not seeking relationships or long-term commitments. No interest in vanilla sex. Missionary is out most of the time”. This is a common way to convey preferences: by spelling out what you don’t want. However, this comes off as negative and a little confrontational. If a woman looking at your profile happens to like missionary, it doesn’t mean she’s a prude or boring in bed, but the way you’ve phrased your preferences, it sounds like that’s what you’d say if you met her in person. So how do you present your desires in a positive way?
How to Remake Negative Statements into Positive Ones
The answer is to specify the things you like, instead of talking about your dislikes. Take the example we gave up above – to transform this into a positive statement is a simple matter of re-phrasing the description of these qualities in positive terms. Instead of using words like “no” and “not”, replace them with “want” and “prefer”. You could write something like, “I am into kink, I prefer nontraditional sexual positions, and I’m seeking casual, sexy flings”. Not only is the second version much less negative and confrontational, but it also conveys the exact same information, and is more inviting to any ladies reading.